I’ve been a Mama to two for nearly 3 months now and I don’t want to jinx things but I think I’m okay at it. We’re all still here, no limbs lost, Georgie is yet to be (completely) squished by a big sister cuddle and Frankie doesn’t seem to be displaying any signs of jealousy (yet).
This change is absolutely nothing like I thought it would be. I imagined that I’d be in a zombie like state due to the exhausting, I pictured Frankie trashing the living while I looked on helplessly as I shoved a bottle in Georgie’s mouth, I fully expected full weeks of not being able to leave the house due to one of them screaming everytime the pushchair was dragged out and I prepared myself for counting the seconds until Dean’s home time every evening.
In reality, with the exception of the ass kicking exhaustion that comes with this anxiety I’m actually okay on the sleep front. Georgie isn’t a terrible sleeper like Frankie was and I’m lucky that I have a toddler that doesn’t wake up until 7:30. On that note Francesca has been a dream in the day, she is my number one helper at change time and as soon as I start to take G’s clothes off she’s over with a nappy and wipes. She strokes Georgie’s head while I feed her and wipes her mouth afterwards. That’s pretty amazing to witness – she’s an utterly awesome big sister. The one hiccup we’ve found is nap times, Francesca is constantly on the highest volume known to man and no matter how many times I explain that Gee is sleepy and needs some quiet time that doesn’t change. This understandably results in a pretty cranky baby so popping them both in the pushchair and going for a walk is usually a game changer. I really needn’t of worried about getting out the house – we treated ourselves to a Phil & Ted’s before Georgie was born and I’m in love with it. Both the girls drift off to sleep in it and it’s fantastic as a single for either of them. And having double the fun definitely seems to make the day go faster so I no longer have that limbo between Frankie’s dinner time and Dean getting home.
All in all I’d say that 99% of the time I’ve never been happier, which makes that 1% when I’m bogged down with anxiety and full of tears a lot less scary. Once Dean is off at work and I’m left with my two little girls I generally can’t wipe the smile off my face… Francesca is my very best friend in the whole wide world and I feel hugely lucky to be spending all this time with her, and I know in the not too distant future I’ll feel the same about Gee. Don’t get me wrong, I love every single bit of her to the point of self combustion but that little personality isn’t fully developed in the same way yet.
Despite all the crap that seems to of come with the first few months of Georgie’s life I really feel like I was made to be a Mum to two, especially to these two little girls. I always say I never wanted to ‘be’ anything, there was never a career I was destined to have but I think I’ve actually found my role here, at home. Which is totally ridiculous because 3 years a go I couldn’t cook, didn’t clean, wasn’t a massive fan of kids and spent my weekends (and a lot of weekdays) with a hangover. I know once Georgie is a bit older I’ll have to get another job and that’ll be fine because I’ll still be a Mum to these two. I’ll still tuck them in at night and make their dinners and tell them I love them. And even in 30 years when they’ve got there own babies and they’re doing those things for them, it’ll still be fine because they’ll still be mine and I will of helped make them who they are. It’s sloppy and cheesy but I’m just so happy to be a Mama to my little ladies.
Photo by Emily Little Photography.